in my heels.


The unveiling of a lover can be a hard pill to swallow. A lot of people look for wholeness in others to feel complete. However its just not the best thing to do, I've been on both ends, the receiving and the giving. I've cultivated into a lover that's selfish with my significant other. I used to find solace in my other simply because I didn't love myself and I was looking for everything outside of myself. In turn it turned me hard when my lover disappointed me.Codependency is a real thing in our generation. It rules many of our lifestyles. Listen to the conversations you have with people and others we affirm and have so much of our outcomes in our words alone. We speak our failures, disappointments and hurt into existence.

I would love to be whole for my lover so I can still love me freely and not be bound to another. I seek comfort in myself and my own life before I would add someone else to the pot. Life is beautiful, there's so much beauty in it, when you start looking at your hands and the placements of your life things will change for you.

However, my mindset has grown over the past few months and I'm at such more peace knowing that what's for me will be for me. At an emotional standpoint I am still processing situations and my hurt that has been attached to the person. I am challenging the urges to be sexual simply because sex for me now is intimate and I deserve someone that I care for, and like/love to be intimate with and share my body with due to the fact that for a while I haven't felt the true feeling of love in the aspect of sex and intimacy.

Flesh

a : the physical nature of human beings //the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak

— Matthew 26:41 (King James Version)

There was period of time where I didn't care about myself. I used sex as a defense mechanism to my already low vibration. I chose to write about this simply because we never know who needs to hear this or who it can touch. All in all, flesh is weak, it isn't the beginning or ending of it all. Beyond the surface love exists and its not because of physical. Love that you have for yourself, love you have for your body, mind and spirit. Love you have for your family, your friends, your life: that is the real intimacy.

Love is and can be around you, you have to let it in. The biggest lesson of it all is that love doesn't have to be a romantic relationship.

Hope this touches someone.

Love and light.

Nicole

#love #abstinence #light #women #sex #intimacy #relationships

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